Artificial intelligence is becoming part of the dating process for a growing number of singles, with chatbots being used to write messages, analyse conversations, suggest date ideas and assess whether profiles or photographs appear genuine.
A survey of 3,000 British singles published by Match Group, the owner of Tinder and Hinge, found that 39% had used AI in their dating lives. The proportion rose to 66% among members of Generation Z and 53% among millennials.
Sam, a 27-year-old from Stoke-on-Trent, began using Google Gemini after his former partner joked that her sister found him unattractive. The chatbot assessed his photograph and disagreed. He now uses AI for encouragement and to review messages before sending them.
Sam says the pressure to make a good impression on dating apps can make every message feel important. He would prefer to begin relationships in person, but believes dating has undergone a shift in which interactions are increasingly expected to start online.
According to the survey, the most common uses of AI include asking for advice about someone, planning dates, practising conversations, creating profiles or messages, and checking whether profiles or photos are authentic. By contrast, most singles consider using AI to alter a photograph unacceptable.
The technology is also being used as a form of dating coaching. A single mother from New Zealand, who asked not to be identified, said she configured ChatGPT to help her become more secure, avoid panicking over delayed replies and resist rushing into relationships.
A 51-year-old man from Melbourne, who returned to dating after the end of a 20-year marriage, used AI to assess matches and test his responses. He said the chatbot encouraged him to reconsider a profile he had initially overlooked, which belonged to his current partner. She later revealed that she had used Anthropic’s Claude to analyse his replies as well.
Such use can carry risks. Around one-third of UK singles surveyed said they would end a date if they discovered that AI had been used to write a potential partner’s messages. Although 7% said they liked discussing dates with a chatbot, group chats and conversations with parents were more popular, at 29% and 20% respectively.
Dec, a 31-year-old from London, uses ChatGPT as a sounding board and uploads dating conversations to ask about possible red flags or the nature of a connection. While the approach has helped lead to dates, Dec worries that relying too heavily on AI could weaken independent judgement and make the chatbot too agreeable.
The survey also explored a future in which AI assistants could communicate before the people involved meet. More than a quarter of respondents liked the idea of two assistants speaking to each other and reporting back, although most considered the concept unacceptable. Yoel Roth, Match Group’s head of trust and safety, said the company opposes bot-to-bot dating because it does not promote human connection.
Sam says AI can support his dating life but should not replace his personality. In his view, handing over his sense of humour to a chatbot would mean losing an essential part of himself.
Sources: The Guardian Technology.